When my husband disappeared, I had so many dreams about him. Dreams that he died of hunger in the jungle. That he was eaten by wild animals. When I found out that he managed to run away to our relatives, the dreams got better. But then he disappeared from our relative’s house. I dreamt that he was caught by the police. That he was in trouble.”

I love my husband. That’s why I married him. But because of our bad government, we had to leave our village. I love him so much. He cannot go back to Myanmar. That is why I came here to Malaysia. To be together again. But before this, I have never been out of my village, not even to go to the nearest town.”

Here I am so crazy. I know nothing. I don’t know the language. I am so afraid now, after our whole family was caught by RELA and put in Semenyih camp.”

I don’t know what is going to happen to us. I love my relatives I left behind. Back in our village, the children can go to school. I see them playing with their friends. Now they live in the jungle with us. There have no friends. No school. ”

Back in our village we had a farm, and we had many animals. There was always enough to eat. Now there is not even enough food for us sometimes. We are afraid of robbers. We are afraid for our health. There are many mosquitoes here.”

There is nothing that makes me happy here. My relatives, my brother and sisters, they are not here. My children are always complaining that they have nothing to do. The nearest town is so far away. It is very difficult to go. Every time we go to buy provisions, we always have to bring along 3 or 4 men for safety.”

Pi Naamtal (not her real name) is married to Pu Gaalngam. They have five children. They are now staying in a jungle camp in Malaysia, where Naamtal cooks for the whole group and in return, gets to feed her family free of charge. Read Pu Gaalngam‘s story to find out why they had to leave behind all they had in their village in Myanmar for a life of hardship in Malaysia.